Published Stories

A Day in the Life of a Cat

I’d like to welcome a guest blogger today. Macie Kitty is one of my resident felines. She’s here to tell you how she helps keep me on track with all of my life goals.

Morning, it’s time to wake the human. She has been using more than her fair share of the middle of the bed all night. Besides that noise maker next to her bed is going to start blaring soon anyway. It never hurts to remind her that my need for food out weighs any other consideration. Except maybe my right to sleep on the bed. Or the chair or, well anywhere I choose to sleep.

There, the proper application of a cold nose has shifted the lazy creature out of my rightful place… Oh, but I’d best eat before the others think I’ve abandoned my food and given them leave to eat it for me. Once sated, I can still return to my place in the still warm bed. I won’t sleep yet, the morning show is about to start.

I don’t understand humans. They keep so many different kinds of coats in the little room off the bedroom then they have to spend so much time trying to decide which one to put on over their exposed skin. This must be an important day for my human. She’s already picked out and put back five perfectly acceptable coats. Just to remind her of how much easier my life is, I give myself a quick licking and settle in to watch her change the colors on her face.

She runs out the door and I settle into my first nap. Some time later I wander over to the front window. Those squirrels wouldn’t be so cheeky if I were prowling the yard. They’d never see me coming and I wouldn’t have to wait for the human to get home to fill my belly. I’ve tried, you know. I’ve gone out the door when she holds it open too long, but it’s always raining. I’m not silly enough to get my coat wet just to teach a squirrel not to play in my yard. I took my second nap in the window.

One of the other cats was rude enough to take her nap right in front of the water dish, so sat on her face while I lapped up some water. She didn’t like that and we tussled. Just enough to send her hair flying.

I needed another nap after that. I claimed the desk chair.

The human came home while I was still napping and picked me up. How rude. You don’t just pick someone up in the middle of their nap and move them. At least she scritched the itchy space between my ears while she did it. Even though she put me in the cat sling, which I’ll admit is one of the comfiest nap spots, I couldn’t stay there. I went and sat right in front of that glowing thing she’s always staring at.

That got me more pets and kiss. She doesn’t kiss right, hers all lips and noise, no tongue. What good is a kiss that doesn’t comb the fur at least a little bit? Then she moved me again. Humans.

When I gave her a nudge she remembered the treats she keeps hidden in the drawer. They aren’t really hidden, but I still haven’t figured out how to open the drawer. She’s kind of stingy with the treats and throws them so I have to run to chase after them. Don’t tell anyone, but I think it’s fun. I can practice my squirrel catching maneuvers. Those little bits have no chance when I’m on the prowl. Even when she bounces them off the door and they land where I can’t see, I still find them. And eat them of course.

A little of that and I’m in need of another nap. The bed is all mine. When I wake again I can smell the human making her dinner. She’s making chicken again. She’s probably putting too many spices on it again. Blah. The other cats love that stuff, but not me. I’ll hold out for the good stuff. And tonight it’s going to be the good stuff. She’s already pulled the cans out, but it will have to wait until she’s done eating. She’s selfish like that.

I stick close to her though, even though I don’t want the chicken she’s ruined. I just don’t want the others to get to the good stuff first. It’s hard to predict where she’s going to step, and I get a couple of soft kicks while she’s dishing out the food. Oh it smells so good, and I join with the others in reminding her that we’re waiting. I get to my shelf first, so I get the first bowl of awesomeness. I don’t wait for the others to remember where they are supposed to be before I start licking up the soup with bits or real meat in it.

That kind of dinner requires a nap afterward. Now I’m ready to sleep in the cat swing while I listen to the human make those clicking noises. She does that all the time. I like to listen to it while I sleep.

I have to remind her to go to bed or she’d sit there all night, clicking away. As soon as she’s all settled in, I pin the blanket down so she can’t get up. I have to do that so she can fall asleep.

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